Fat & Depressed, Depressed & Fat

November 25, 2005 at 10:39 am | Posted in Depression, Journeys Program, Mood | Leave a comment

it’s like which came first, the chicken or the egg? I am fat and depressed.

I didn’t want to hijack anyone else’s thread so am starting one here.

went to see my family doctor on Wednesday because of hip pain, she said it’s bursitis. she said I should continue to do my WATP videos and take pain pills for the bursitis. if the pain pills don’t help, I need a shot for the bursitis.

anyway, while I was there, we discussed my weight; I am losing and gaining the same five pounds. I am at the highest ever, 230, and hate myself. I have zero motivation. she recommended a program at the local hospital, it starts in January, called “Journeys”. all of her patients who took it lost at least 40 pounds and have kept it off. here’s the kicker: it costs $450 for 11 weeks. WWYD?

I told dh that I wanted to do it, my Christmas present to myself (this was before I found out the cost).

I want to lose weight and get off my blood pressure pills, I am tired of being a size 24, of huffing and puffing while I walk up and down our stairs, of not being able to tie my own d@rn shoes, but I don’t have $450 and don’t know what dh will say when I tell him the cost.

again, WWYD? I am tempted to call his insurance office at work to see if they will cover the program…..some insurances cover WW now, the doctor said it would be worth the call. she didn’t say it would cost $450, she thought it was like $200, which would be easier to afford.

anyway, I’m rambling and am feeling blah. ds and I are meeting dh for lunch at his office. maybe I should tell him there so he won’t blow up in front of everyone in the cafeteria LOL

how do you keep going when you want to quit? I just want to curl up and sleep under a rock someplace…..

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