September 9, 2006 at 1:03 pm | Posted in Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Kidney Problems, Mood | Leave a comment

Bad news today:

the first was my urologist, who tells me after an ultrasound, CAT scan and IVP that there is NOTHING wrong with me, that the blood in my urine is just “one of those things that some people have to live with”

the second was my family doctor, who tells me that my AC1 Test came back at 6.8 which is an increase of a point, which isn’t good (I have since forgotten what an AC1 Test is supposed to measure, blood sugar, I think?). She also tells me that my albumin is low, my kidneys aren’t in good shape (du-uh, I know I’m in kidney failure, tell me something I DON’T know) and that the low albumin is causing me to swell like a sponge  She said to eat a lot of potassium-rich foods and to avoid salt like the plague.

how do people with chronic illnesses keep going? I’ve got bipolar disorder which I am living with, thanks to my meds, psychiatrist and therapist; I’m diabetic and have high blood pressure and am in kidney failure. today it feels as if everything is sitting on the top of me and I can’t breathe.

I just want to quit. no matter what I do, I keep having these health problems. I have cut out the salt, am watching my sugar regularly and have been eating bananas (potassium).

how do I keep going when my mind is telling me to quit?


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