I’m still here!

September 29, 2012 at 8:51 pm | Posted in Busy, Busy!, Cancer, I'm a Foodie! | Leave a comment

I need to be more involved with my blogging.  Lately, I’ve been having fun on my cooking blog and ignoring this one.

I transferred the cooking blog from Blogger and while I was poking around this blog (that I transferred from LiveJournal a long time ago), I discovered that I’ve been blogging since 2003.  That was the year my best friend died from breast cancer.

Little did I know that a few years later, kidney cancer would rear its ugly head in my own family.  My husband was diagnosed five years ago in March, had a nephrectomy (right kidney) in April, 2007 and then was fine until two years ago in March, when it was discovered that it metastisized into his left tibia (knee).  Five years ago, I didn’t do any research into kidney cancer and looking back, I’m glad that I didn’t because if I knew then what I know now, I would have been sitting here waiting for the time bomb that kidney cancer is.  It always comes back, usually within two years.  My husband’s came back after three, so God gifted us with another year.

There’s no cure for kidney cancer.  I asked his oncologist’s nurse about that and told her to be honest with me and she told me that all we can hope for is to keep him comfortable, to hope that the chemo can slow the spread and growth.

We found out after his knee was radiated, that it went into his lungs.  Earlier this year, we found that it’s in his pancreas, liver and lymph nodes.

The good news is that his last scans (August) showed shrinkage in one of the nodes in his lung and on the lymph node in his chest.

He’s been so brave.  He’s gone through so much pain, I wish I could take it from him.  It sucks to see him in pain, to know he knows what’s going to happen.  It breaks my heart knowing that he isn’t going to watch our 13-year old graduate from high school or college; that he’ll never hold his grandchildren; that we won’t grow old together the way we’ve planned; that he won’t be able to sail around Cape Horn and get his ear pierced; that we won’t be able to go back to Maryland so that he can show us where he grew up.

I hate cancer.

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