Desperate for a Miracle

March 7, 2013 at 9:06 pm | Posted in Hospital | Leave a comment

Sad news.

My husband was moved from critical care to the intensive care ward.  He’s developing pneumonia and his worn out lungs are having trouble.  He’s on a c-pap machine.  The doctors say that he can live on it for 3-5 days and could recover….then they asked again about the DNR.

As we were discussing the things necessary if the c-pap machine can’t keep working, he started shaking his head, “No.”

I asked him if he wanted to be put on the ventilator and he kept shaking his head, “No.” and he even said, “No ventilator.”

This means that if – if – if his lungs give out, the nurses and doctors will do their best to keep him comfortable and let nature take its course.

I wanted to tell him NOT to do this, but I promised him seven years ago when he was first diagnosed with the kidney cancer that if and when the time came that he needed to make the choice to stop treatment, I would support him no matter what I wanted.

The tears started then.  He told me, “You’ll be okay” and all I could do was cry.

I called my brother as I was leaving the hospital; called my mom to let her know I was on my way home; called a friend (Daliah) and she’s going to get Daniel from school tomorrow at 1:00 and bring him up to see his dad.  I left that choice completely up to Daniel….told him he didn’t have to do it if he felt uncomfortable but he wants to come.

Please pray for a miracle.

I just spoke with his night nurse and she said he’s still on the c-pap machine; they took it off of him for a few moments and his numbers were alright but then started dropping again, so they put him back on it.  I told her to tell Ron that Daniel and I love him.

It’s going to be a long night.  I had thought to go up to the hospital and stay overnight – but I realize now that I need to be here with Daniel.  My son needs me.  I will go spend the days with my beloved and try to find a way to bring him for visits…Daniel wouldn’t be able to stay all day.  The waiting room is crowded; it’s a very emotional place to be; you can’t stay in the patient room for too long; they limit the time for visiting.

I called Joan at church and asked her to put Ron on the prayer chain and she said that she would make the calls.

God is with us.  I know He is.

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