Tired, Tired, Tired…but Hopeful about Tomorrow

March 10, 2013 at 6:30 pm | Posted in Hospital | Leave a comment

I’m tired.  I didn’t think it was possible to be this tired and still be moving.  I think I’m on autopilot.

I fell apart at the hospital.  Ron was upset about a number of things, one of them being that he was “tied” to his bed; they have an alarm that lets the nursing staff know when he gets up.  I explained it to him yesterday when he wanted to shower.  He couldn’t shower but could only get a sponge bath.  Obviously he forgot that I told him, because he was mad at me for not telling him things.  He was also upset about his night meds; one of the docs withheld them last night because he was hard to wake yesterday.   I cried, told him that I was failing him as a wife because I couldn’t be there to advocate for him; told him I was failing our son because it was so hard trying to explain everything to him on an age-appropriate level and that I was even failing our puppy girl because she was anxious and nervous.  I bawled for a while and eventually he calmed me down.  We snuggled in his bed, and finally I felt better.  Still feel like a failure because I can’t DO everything.

BUT tonight, just a few moments ago, he called and said that the doctor was in and he MIGHT get to come home TOMORROW!

I will need to contact the social worker to see about his oxygen and medicine and home health nurse; the VA is footing the bill for the medicine (blood thinner) and for his oxygen, thanks be to God.

I was planning on calling the vet about the dog; we’ve been giving her two Benadryl, per the instructions of Dr. Harper.  I called the emergency number last night; Shadow was shaking and quaking and whining and Daniel and I were both upset.  When I told Ron that I wanted to take her in tomorrow before coming to see him, he asked me to wait and see how she reacted when he got home.

I’m tired and hopeful.  I want my husband at home where he belongs.

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