What a Week…

April 19, 2013 at 11:45 pm | Posted in Boston Marathon Bombings, Grieving, Happy Birthday!, Healing, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

this has been.  Very emotional.  First, the bombings at the Boston Marathon – then the craziness of the past 24 hours in Boston.  Trying to keep away from CNN and the internet and reading and seeing photos and videos – it was like a car wreck.  For some reason, I couldn’t stay away.  It was very hard to see and hear and yet I couldn’t stop.

Now, the suspect is in custody…can the healing begin?

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday.  We will celebrate with her.

Sunday is the 22nd anniversary of my father’s death.  He died April 21, 1991 at 12:17 a.m., so in my mother’s heart, he died on her birthday.

Celebrating her birthday has been so hard.  I spent the morning with her and we cried.  A lot.  We miss him so much.  I miss the daddy that I had and the daddy that I dreamed of.  He tried.  I know he loved me; I know he was proud of me because my madrina told me so at his wake.  I wish he was here to see his grandson, to spoil him rotten.  My heart knows that he’s in Heaven, watching over this child of mine.

Healing.

A daughter never gets over the loss of her daddy.

We never get over the loss of our loved ones.   It’s a day to day thing.  Eventually it becomes a weekly struggle.  Monthly.  The first anniversary of his death, I can remember being at school and calling my mom from a pay phone (remember those?) and crying before class.  My professor overheard me and told me to cut class that night.  I’ll never forget his kindness.

I miss you, Daddy.

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