5 Minute Friday: BelongJuly 19, 2013 at 3:57 pm | Posted in 5 Minute Friday, Belong | 8 Comments
Yes, it’s Friday! What a long week this has been. Okay, here are the rules: Lisa gives us a word prompt and we have 5 minutes to brainstorm and write. No editing. No going back and changing anything. Just write. From the heart is the best way to write. After you’re finished writing, go to Lisa’s blog (click the above link), add your link to what you’ve written – and then read the person who left their link before you. For fun, read more links. I love to see what others have written! It’s a fun way to make friends and learn about people.
If you’re curious as to how 5 Minute Friday began, you can check out Lisa’s blog, The Gypsy Mama, for information.
I think I’ve done my job preparing you. Now I need to find out what the word prompt is and get to writing!
This week’s prompt is: BELONG.
The first thing that comes to my mind is the fact that while growing up, I didn’t feel as though I belonged. Not to my family, not to anyone. It didn’t help that my parents and my brother teased me that I was adopted because the first picture of me was of a two-year old on a riding toy. They said that was when they adopted me. Even though none of my other relatives said that I was adopted, I always wondered. And felt like I didn’t belong.
I grew up and went through the motions of kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and high school, still feeling like the odd-man out. People were kind; I had a few friends. I was typically a loner, with maybe two or three friends. Did I belong? Not really.
My first job was while I was a junior in high school and it continued through my senior year; did I belong? Not really.
I don’t think I truly started feeling like I belonged until I became sober through AA. I hadn’t had a real and true personal higher power for quite some time. I went to church and went through the motions but didn’t feel like I belonged. In AA, it’s not about religion but a higher power; some people called it God. I went along, thinking that God was a familiar name and maybe it would help.
I didn’t know how to talk to this God so my then-boyfriend (now husband) told me to throw my shoes under the bed and while I was on my knees, to talk to God.
After a few tries, it started to work. I felt a connection to this higher power, this God. I finally belonged to Him. I still talk to Him while I’m on my knees but I don’t need to throw my shoes under the bed anymore.
I belong. To my God. To the family that God helped me create: husband and son. I belong in the world.
My husband and I rented a movie – an old movie – I think the movie was “A Thousand Clowns” and in the movie, a young child says, “I can’t wait to be a grown up, so that I can be a real person” and that really moved me. I wasn’t the only person in the world who wanted to be a real person and belong to the world.
Oh, and I know I’ve gone over my 5 minutes but I have to share this: my brother married an incredible woman in 1986 and she was adopted. When she heard about the “joke” that I was adopted she had a serious talk with my brother, which led to him telling me that he was sorry for the pain he caused with the “joke” and that I was his true sister and that he loved me. He held me and I cried; he may have, too, I’m not sure. I belong.
STOP……kind of late, but I stopped!