When it Rains, it POURS

May 13, 2008 at 8:55 am | Posted in Bully, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

 As if there hasn’t been ENOUGH garbage to deal with this week……………….

Yesterday while at the grocery store (after school) my sweet 8-year old tells me that the bully tried to “break his arm” after recess, by twisting it.  OKAY, we are at the grocery store, standing right by the hotdogs and I’m about to LOSE MY MIND!  I asked for and received details and what struck me as the worst detail was the fact that he told his teacher IMMEDIATELY after it happened and she did NOTHING about it.

I had to calm down, finish my grocery shopping and drive and park before I was ready to call her.  Luckily she was still at school, so I asked her about the situation and she COULDN’T remember Daniel telling her anything!!!!!!!!!

He told me that he said, “B hurt me!” and she didn’t respond.

How can anyone NOT remember being told that they had been HURT by another child?!?

Okay, I was a teacher once-upon-a-time and I know you are being pulled in 100 different directions with 100 different things going on, but this is ridiculous.

I didn’t want to upset my hubby (who is still in the hospital and bored out of his mind) but knew that if I didn’t tell him myself and Daniel told him later on the phone, he’d get upset even more.  So I phoned him and let him know that I would be contacting the Parish Priest (who supervises the school also) and letting him know the situation.  Poor hubby WAS upset, but agreed that contacting Father D was the best thing to do.

So this morning after morning Mass, Father D and I spoke very briefly….I told him that this harrassment has been going on all year, that I have spoken with the teacher numerous times and that hubby and I had been in to see the principal but that yesterday, Daniel was INJURED.  He was visibly upset, told me to go to the principal immediately and ask her what she intends to do, that he had an appointment he couldn’t cancel, but that he would contact her afterwards and speak with her.

I spoke with the principal, she gave me this song and dance about not knowing what happened, that the boys were all together at the cafeteria and things seemed alright, so what was the problem again?!?

I almost started crying, I am so freaking STRESSED!  She then called Daniel from his class and got the facts from him and then she promised him (and me) that she would get the bully into her office and find out what happened, and then take care of it.  Whatever that means……..take care of it.  She hasn’t been taking care of SQUAT all year as far as this bully is concerned.

I realize that school is out on the 22nd and part of me wants to just walk away and say, “Summer will be here soon, let it go” but I won’t stand for my son being injured.  He told me that the B twisted his arm.  He also told me that he wanted to kick the B’s head and I agreed that feeling that way is alright but he couldn’t DO IT because that was being just as bad as the bully.

Anyway, that’s my morning so far……….

I called hubby in the hospital and updated him.  I will call Father D later on this afternoon and find out what he learned and what the “status” is on this.

Now I’m off to my Friends’ Page to find out what’s up in the rest of the world.

*sigh*

Can I go back to bed?  LOL

~ Patty

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Friday

March 14, 2008 at 12:30 pm | Posted in Bully, Catholicism, PCCW, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It’s been a nice morning.

I worked in the school library this morning, but not this afternoon.  I decided to come here instead and do some research.  Apparently, there’s a law in my state against bullying and I want to research it and see what it says.

While I was in the library, the principal came in to tell me that she spoke with the children (all from K-6) this morning at Morning Prayer about the bullying and harassments that have been going on.  She told me that they role-played a couple of situations and discussed feelings and how to stop someone from bothering another one.  Her idea of helping the issue is having the children police each other and tell each other when someone is being cruel or whatever.  Nice thought, but I still feel that it’s the administration’s place to stop the bullying and not the childrens’ themselves.  And she also told me that one of the police officers in town will be coming into my son’s class next Wednesday to speak to the children about bullying and how to handle it.  She seemed pretty pleased with herself.  Still showed no signs of empathy, which breaks my heart.  I was polite to her and all that…..didn’t snub her or ignore her…..

We had a “Healing Mass” this morning at church and it was very nice.  We had a nice crowd; mainly elderly people with a few people my age (46!) or so…..and a handful of younger ones.  Afterwards, the PCCW provided a free luncheon (mac and cheese, tomato soup, salads and desserts, since it’s Friday there was no meat).  I helped clean up afterwards.  I’m helping next Saturday before the Easter Vigil Mass.  We always serve approximately 150 people at around 10:00 pm.  My job is to prepare the hams and toss them into the oven.  For two years straight, I ran the meal and it was a lot of work.  Last year I helped with the hams, then left.  This year I’m doing the same.  I’m not spending the night at church doing everything like usual.  Part of me feels guilty and part of me doesn’t.  I have to know when to say no.

Okay, off to check on the laws.  Time for Google!

~ Patty

THURsday Morning Musings

March 13, 2008 at 7:38 am | Posted in Bully, Region Two CCW, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

 Well yesterday afternoon was our conference with the principal and I must say that dh and I were totally disappointed in her.  Her reaction was one of mainly “We can’t be everywhere, knowing what is going on or what is being said by all children.”

She was defensive and showed no empathy.

The ONLY positive thing she stated was that the child’s mother is aware of some of the issues going on with her son and they were “working together” to get things improved.

When I asked for my son’s file to see documentation of our conferences (mine and his teacher’s), she stated that there was NO documentation and that she had not been spoken to after our February 15 conference when she (the teacher) promised to speak with her.  That ticked me off.  Why would the teacher lie? I can’t believe she did that…….I’m very disappointed.  My mom told me to confront the teacher about it, but I am finished speaking with her about the problem.

My dh and I spoke last night and we are going to begin documenting each and every complaint that ds comes home with.  I am to write a note to the school about the problems, and keep notes for ourselves, so that when we do go to our Parish Priest with the issue, we’ll have proof of what’s been going on…….or should I say what’s NOT been going on?

Y’know, I was never a public school teacher, I only taught preschool, but we were told in college, in teacher ed classes,  to show empathy for our parents when they approached us with a problem, but this principal had none for us.  None.  I didn’t expect her to fall at our feet and beg our forgiveness but I had hoped for some empathy.

I dropped my ds at school this morning, told him that we loved him and to have a good day…..I am fearful some mornings when I drop him off, not knowing how his day will be.

Oh yeah, speaking of my mom, she said that SHE would be willing to go to the school and kick some butt LOL!  She’s very protective of her only grandson.

I told her that we had to give the principal a chance….see how things went for a couple of weeks….then decide if we were going to see the Priest.  I hate to bother him, he’s so busy and he has so many things he’s managing and he doesn’t needed any added stress but it is his responsibility to oversee the school.

Okay, off to my Friends’ Page.

Then I have a Region 2 meeting today………..

Hasta la vista!

~ Patty

I’m human again! Plus other musings………

March 12, 2008 at 9:51 am | Posted in Bully, Neck Pain, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Jeepers, yesterday was a day to forget!

I had my epidural injection in the morning.  We took off for Springfield around 7:30 in order to make it through traffic and get there by 8:00 am.  The sun was directly in our faces, so driving was a challenge.  But we made it.  They took me back just at 9:00 am and the doctor/anesthesiologist came immediately to tell me about the procedure.  As soon as he did that, the nurse gave me my IV and checked my sugar (it was 118) and part of the sedative.  I said “goodbye” to Doris and was wheeled back…they gave me the rest of the sedative and turned me over onto my stomach.  I was still AWAKE…for some reason, I thought the sedative would have knocked me out…that’s what I wanted anyway LOL  So, I was awake and listening to the procedure…I heard everything…not what I wanted!  It was not painful although I did feel the first needle poke…

Afterwards they wheeled me to recovery and gave me some juice; I’m sure that my sugar was dropped lower by then, it was around 10:00 am.  Doris came in and sat with me while I had my juice.  Soon the nurse said it was alright to leave.  We went to the Waffle House.  Yummy!  I had a pecan waffle, scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and scattered hashbrowns with onions and toast and an iced tea.  Too much food, I know, but since I had been fasting since the night before, I was STARVING!

Then we went to Kohl’s to shop.  I was feeling alright, just a bit goofy from the sedative.  I purchased a really cute polo shirt, it’s white with green dots.  All shades of green.  It’ll be perfect for Monday’s blood drive (Monday is my saint’s day:  St. Patrick!).  This morning at Walmart I purchased a pair of tiny green earrings to go with it!

After we shopped…it must have been around 1:30 pm, we decided it was time to leave.  On the way home, my left shoulder started hurting so badly.  Doris asked if I wanted to go to the ER but I said nope, I just needed to sit and get some Tylenol.  So we picked up ds from school, she dropped me off at my Mom’s and my Mom gave me some pain pills. 

By the time dh came for us, I was in severe pain.  It wasn’t constant but it came and went.  He took us for dinner at the local family restaurant and then home.  I didn’t do a darned thing but sit.  Sleeping was rough, it was after 11:00 pm before I fell asleep.  This morning it doesn’t hurt so much but it’s tender.  I’ve got a bandage on the back of my neck that I kept on during my shower.  I’ll take it off tonight before bed.

The KICKER in all of this is that the doc told me that I should come back EVERY FOUR WEEKS for this shot.  WTH?  Dr. O told me that it might take 2 or 3 sessions to get the pain gone but he didn’t say I would need to come back once a month forever like the doc yesterday.  There’s no way I’m doing that, I’d rather investigate surgery.  As dh said, these shots are NOT curing the problem, they’re handling the SYMPTOMS of numbness…in order to stop the problem, I need to get those bone spurs removed.  And that means surgery.  So when I see Dr. O on the 21st, I’m asking about surgery.  Not that I want surgery, but I don’t want to have to go back every month for this. 

Okay………….

Back to the bully situation.  The B wasn’t at school yesterday and ds said he had a great day.  He didn’t tug on his hair or act upset or nervous all evening.  He ate all of his dinner and played next door with the neighbor boy and his friend.  Today we are meeting with the school principal.  I have a copy of the school handbook and it definitely states that “harassment” of students is NOT allowed and is grounds for being suspended.  So is “violence against another student” and I know that has happened twice – this child has caused bodily harm to two other boys.  My son and others witnessed it – but the child (B) was not suspended.  When I questioned the teacher, the stated that the punishment was being handled “in school” and that was that.  I am going to also ask today to see my son’s school file and see the documentation that the teacher and principal should be keeping regarding the conferences we have been having.  I’ll bet you $20 there isn’t one scrap of information in his file!  Not once has the teacher taken notes during our conferences………..

I’ve been trying to not get over-emotional with this and to try and stay calm.  I know that the Lord says to “turn the other cheek” and to love with all my heart and soul.  I know that’s the lesson to teach my son and we’ve been trying to tell him to just walk away from B, to laugh things off that he tells him….but when my son said yesterday that B calls him names….when my child asked me “Is being gay a bad thing?  Mom, B says that I’m gay and that I’m bad”, then I cannot just sit and do nothing.  I have tried to pray for this child…one of my first AA sponsors taught me a long time ago that when someone pains me, I should pray for them at least SEVEN days in a row, asking God to bless them and watch over them…honestly I have tried but it’s so hard.  I know he’s just a CHILD, but he’s tormenting my child and others and he needs to be stopped.  His parents (divorced, but still his parents!) need to make changes to help this child.  Our children are supposed to be in a loving, Christian environment while they’re at school.  Being harassed and called names are not loving.  Things like this should not be allowed.  PERIOD.

So that’s where I am today.  Confused over my emotions….angry and hurt.  And trying to pray.  And with an aching neck.  Bleah!

~ Patty

Bully Problems

March 10, 2008 at 6:06 pm | Posted in Bully, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My dh and I have an appointment with the school principal on Wednesday.  The bullying problem has gone on too long and has gotten out of hand.  This child – the bully – I’ll call him B for Bully – told my child the other day that “Everybody in class hates you!”  Excuse me?  This is supposed to be a Christian environment we’re sending our children to….when I told the teacher her response was that she had no idea he said it, and that she’d keep her eyes on him.  Yeah, like that can happen in a roomful of 19 children.  I spoke to a mom on Friday night at a birthday party (the B was not there) and she said her son comes home daily with reports about B, things he has said or done to other children.  Another mom I spoke with said her son has had confrontations with B also and she’s tired of it.  And my dh spoke with a mom today and she knows about B – and her children aren’t even in the same grade as B and my son!

I’m furious.  The claws are out and I’m looking for BLOOD and it’s going to be noisy when we meet, I can promise you that.  And if the principal won’t do anything, dh and I have already decided we’re going to our Priest, who is over the principal of the school.  If I have to, I’ll call ALL the parents in our class to get behind us.  This child is mean and cruel – yeah, he has a drunk for a father, his parents are divorced, his mom remarried – but that doesn’t give him the right to be mean and cruel to ANYONE.

I told dh I’ve been temped to tell ds to just SLUG HIM next time he says or does something cruel, but we both know that ds wouldn’t hurt a fly….he’s a sensitive and gentle child and he doesn’t deserve this CRAP.

So please say a prayer for us – we need to handle this well – yet let this principal know that the trouble has gone on for too long.  Too many children are being hurt by B’s words and actions.  

I’m stepping into the office tomorrow for a copy of the school’s Handbook to research what – if anything – it says about treatment of others and about punishments.

*sigh*

Being a mom is tough work.  I love my boy so much and won’t put up with any nonsense any longer.

Vent over!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming!!!

~ Patty

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