News…kind of good, yet kind of not so good

December 22, 2010 at 3:02 pm | Posted in Cancer | Leave a comment

News from the oncologist today

OK, I posted on FB that the news was good, but that was because ds reads my FB too.

The news wasn’t 100% good.

The brain scan was clear, the bone scan was clear.

Problem: lungs. There are nodes the doc has been watching and they’ve grown.

The doc took him off the 2nd chemo that was causing dangerous side-effects and in January, we’re going to try chemo #3. Doc wants him to have a break, enjoy Christmas, eat while he can.

He also said that we are to contact his office immediately when we have questions and to not wait and end up in the ER like we recently did. He said this twice and I made sure dh heard it and agreed to it in front of the doctor. No more messing around!

Anyway, we asked about side effects and the new drug (which I must research when I’m finished here) has basically the same ones, but hopefully, they won’t be as drastic as the first two.

That’s what I asked the doc…how “bad” can and should dh feel with the chemo? We know it’s destroying more than the cancer, we know it’s going to make him sick and not want to eat, we know he’s going to be fatigued. At what point do we ask for help? That’s when he said to call and talk to the nurse and get the message to him about what’s going on.

I feel better knowing that.

~ Patty

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Scans

December 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm | Posted in Cancer | Leave a comment

Prayers, please…scans tomorrow

My dh wasn’t scheduled for scans until January but he’s been going down-hill for the past couple of weeks plus hasn’t been eating and is just doing poorly. We’re due at the Martin Center in Springfield at 7:30 a.m.

We were in the ER on Saturday night and he told me that if this is the way things will be from now on, he’s not going to keep it up.

The oncologist took him off his chemo and switched a couple of meds around.

We see him on Tuesday morning for the results of tomorrow’s scans.

~ P

*Sigh*

November 16, 2010 at 3:08 pm | Posted in Cancer, Scans: CT, MRI, etc., Stress Stinks! | Leave a comment

We’re home. They couldn’t do the CT scan because he’s allergic to the dye they inject and the oncologist took him off the prednisone last weekend to see if it was affecting his sleep. He’ll have the CT scan on Tuesday here at the local hospital and then we’ll go back to the oncologist the next day. The nurse admitted to me today that the doc is concerned that it’s metastisized to the brain and that could be why he’s acting differently. Me, I hope it’s just from the chemo. But this is his second chemo and second bad problems, so I’m not sure what’ll happen. Hopefully if it’s from the chemo, there’s another kind he can try…if he decides to.

~ Patty

Sunday again?

September 26, 2010 at 10:31 pm | Posted in Cancer, Good News, I Love the Lord, Sad News, Scans: CT, MRI, etc. | Leave a comment

It’s Sunday again? I haven’t posted all week…it’s been busy!

OK, update on my husband: we saw his oncologist on Wednesday and received EXCELLENT news! His bone scan was negative! and the cancer in his lungs hasn’t increased NOR has it spread to any other parts of his body! The oncologist said, “It doesn’t get any better than this!” and we agree. Thank You, God, for hearing our prayers!

OK, sad news. Our chocolate lab died this weekend. We think she got bit by a poisonous snake…her right leg was swollen and she had a fever of 105.5* when we took her to the vet Friday night around 7:30. He gave her an antibiotic shot and kept her overnight. She died some time during the night, poor girl. We are all heartbroken. She was seven years old, not an old dog, she still acted puppy-like. We have already discussed the future and probably this spring we’ll get another dog. We are animal people, there are two cats in our family that allow us to share their living quarters and having pets is vital to our lives. We just have to mourn our Tiger and wait until spring…every time I looked out my kitchen window, my eyes went to her doghouse and I looked for her smiling brown face, but it wasn’t there. I miss her so much! Rest in Peace, sweet girl! The vet is going to cremate her for us and I’ll pick up the ashes when he’s done. We’ll bury her under the oak tree with our two Siamese kitties. We’ve invited our next-door neighbors to join us for the ceremony.

Life has good moments, and then it has sad moments. The important thing is to remember that no matter what, GOD is with us.

~ Patty

Love!

September 13, 2010 at 10:25 pm | Posted in Cancer, LOVE!, Music | Leave a comment

Thinking about Love tonight…

I was listening to my Taylor Swift CD while fixing dinner tonight – which, by the way, turned out excellent…I’ll have to share my recipe later on, maybe in a separate post. I’ve listened to the words to the CD over and over but tonight the words to “Fearless” just hit me in the heart. They express 100% the way I feel for my husband…he’s made me fearless…it’s just so incredible the love we share.

Here are the words:

“Fearless”

There’s somethin’ ’bout the way
The street looks when it’s just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah
Oh yeah

We’re drivin’ down the road
I wonder if you know
I’m tryin’ so hard not to get caught up now
But you’re just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent mindedly makin’ me want you

And I don’t know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless

So baby drive slow
’til we run out of road in this one horse town
I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now capture it, remember it

Cause I don’t know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake
I’m not usually this way but
You pull me in and I’m a little more brave
It’s the first kiss,
It’s flawless,
Really something,
It’s fearless.

Oh yeah
Cause’ I don’t know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Cuz I don’t know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Oh-oh
Oh yeah

Written by Taylor Swift, Liz Rose and Hillary Lindsey
2008 Sony/ATV Tree Publishing
Taylor Swift Music (BMI)
Sony/ATV Timber Publishing
Hillsboro Valley Songs (SESAC)
Raylene Music (ASCAP)

Why does it take something as serious as a terminal illness to get you to realize how much you LOVE someone, how much you DEPEND on them, how much you WANT them…we’ve only been married 23 years. That’s not long enough.

But then I guess NOTHING would truly be “enough” if you think about it.

To those out there reading, HUG your husband, LOVE him and just give him your heart 100% because you never know…

~ Patty

Trout, anyone?

September 10, 2010 at 10:21 pm | Posted in Cancer, Gone Fishin', Vacation | Leave a comment

Well my fishermen are back home!

And they caught four fish but only brought home four. One got away. Hmmmmm, I’ve heard of that, the “one that got away” LOL

I’ve been checking out Westgate Resorts because they called the other night; seems that a few months back, I signed up for a weekend and what do you know? I get a stay at one of their resorts (with my family of course) and the chance to sit through a 45-90 minute spiel about owning a vacation home in one of their resorts.

The night they called, we decided to tell them that it’d be great to go to the Wisconsin Dells but since then, we’re leaning towards Gaitlinburg, TN. I managed to find them at their Westgate Smoky Mountain Resort website and it looks mighty fine! They’ve got an indoor water park that would be great to play in.

We had been thinking of going in April when Daniel gets spring break but then Ron mentioned the night before that maybe we should go sooner. He’s not feeling well and is concerned that it’s going to get harder for him to enjoy himself, so maybe we should go for Christmas. Christmas in the mountains sounds very very nice.

I’m going to show him and Daniel the website and see what they think.

Cancer sucks.

Please, God, remind me to stay in TODAY and not start fretting over the future. Hopefully we can manage a trip to the mountains for Christmas. Daniel has never seen real mountains, just the little ones south of here, in Arkansas.

~ Patty

Today

August 30, 2010 at 10:16 pm | Posted in Cancer | Leave a comment

Life is beautiful…

…if you can stay in TODAY, that is.

I figured out why I’ve been so out of sorts. It’s becaause I’ve been projecting into the future and not staying in TODAY and enjoying the wonders of my life.

It’s hard to stay in the moment when you have a terminally ill spouse *sigh*

We had a good talk this morning and I told him that was my problem. I need to concentrate on the now and celebrate these moments and let the future take care of itself.

Easier said than done…..

~ P

Well, life is different..

May 23, 2010 at 4:41 pm | Posted in Cancer, Hospital | Leave a comment

We are just now getting back to “normal”

Ron spent a few days in the hospital last week. He had internal bleeding; they did an endoscopy and found two spots to biopsy. We haven’t gotten the results yet so tomorrow I’m going to track down the doctor who ordered the endoscopy and see what she found out.

Right now, the good news is that he went back to work last week and managed to work all day Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Of course, he’s very tired and not eating well due to the chemo. But today he and Daniel went shooting, so that’s great news.

We appreciate everyone’s prayers.

~ Patty

Just me….how’s life?

April 26, 2010 at 6:57 pm | Posted in Cancer, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to Work I Go, School! | Leave a comment

Just me. I’m plugging along, taking things one moment at a time. I tried taking things one day at a time but that became too hard. So I’m cutting back to moments. It’s a bit easier.

School is almost out for the year, May 20 to be exact. Daniel will be going to a really cool child care center for the summer. They have an exciting summer program with field trips and trips to the pool. Since I work three days a week, we decided that it would be worth it to let him go all five days. It will help keep him occupied and happy, hopefully.

Ron is tolerating his chemo pills well. He had a 2-week break but had to re-start them on Saturday night. I pray that he can keep taking them without any major side-effects.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, which means my babies and toddlers and preschoolers come in for story time at work. Tuesday mornings are my favorite time of the week. Thankfully my job fills me up and keeps me from thinking about my woes.

~ Patty

It’s Monday….

April 12, 2010 at 9:05 pm | Posted in Cancer, Emergency Room Visit, Sick!, Stress Stinks! | Leave a comment

Last week sucked. Big time.

Saturday woke up with the earache.

On Sunday I had a stomach ache…felt like I was dumping although I hadn’t eaten much nor had eaten any sugar.

Tuesday my stomach was still hurting, so didn’t go to work. Got an antibiotic for the earache.

Wednesday went to my new therapist. After waiting 20 minutes, asked where the heck he was…wasn’t even in the building. He claims he told me my appointment was at 10:15 not 10:00 and he turned it into MY fault that he was late anyway. Walked out on that jerk and am not going back. Will go see the same therapist that Daniel is seeing. Thankfully she is taking new patients.

Wednesday night was having chest pains. Ron helped me to calm down and realize that it wasn’t a heart attack.

Thursday woke up with my right side numb. Couldn’t feel anything. Went to the ER and they said it wasn’t a stroke.

Friday went to my family doc and she put me on an anti-anxiety drug and told me to find some release for all this stress that I’m under.

Saturday, Ron was very emotional and remembering special times we had and we cried a lot, he and I.

Sunday he couldn’t eat much all day. Daniel and I worked outside Saturday and Sunday. I realized that I’m going to have to sell the house because me and Daniel won’t be able to keep it up after Ron is gone.

Crap. I’m praying that THIS WEEK will be BETTER!

~ Patty

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