Well, my size 10 jeans and khakis have been slipping and sliding off my hips lately so I tried on my size 8s this morning, just in case…
I’m a size 8! I know I’ve been wearing size 5 undies for quite a while and my hubby commented the other night that I no longer have a butt…
I’m a happy girl!
X-posted to wls
Wow, I haven’t posted since forever.
Things have been busy. We are counting down days until our week-long vacation in SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS! Only 13 more days until we leave! We leave on the 1st and drive all day, spend the night in Waco – then wake up on the 2nd and go the rest of the way to San Antonio. A week later on the 8th we turn around and come home. It’s probably going to be over 100* all week while we’re there but I don’t care. We’re going to have to drink a lot of water, that’s for sure!
It’s been a quiet weekend. Yesterday I did laundry all day, did the grocery shopping and today after church, took a long nap. Before church, I put a brisket in the crock pot and then after it was finished, shredded it and poured BBQ sauce all over and wow, it was good!
HEY, good news!
I have lost a total of 102 pounds! Yep, yesterday morning I jumped on the scale and it is down to 133! I was so happy!
I am craving bing cherries. Luckily there are some in the fridge….they’re calling my name LOL
Tuesday is the last day for the summer reading program at work. We’re having a huge party and it ought to be fun. I’m tempted to run over to my mom’s at lunch to pick up Daniel and bring him back to work with me.
Oh well, I know I haven’t been around much but really, nothing is going on LOL
I’ve been thinking for a few days about body image and how we perceive ourselves as women. On a forum I belong to, a friend shared about a pregnant woman at the local pool calling herself “hot” and how it made the women around her feel.
I think it’s incredible for ANY woman to consider herself HOT and especially a pregnant one!
I struggle with my self-esteem still. And this morning I was thinking about it and realized that in order for me to be able to accept myself right now, I’m going to have to accept myself as I used to be. Before surgery, my heaviest weight was 235. Whenever I see pictures of myself before surgery, it freaks me out. How could I have allowed myself to become morbidly obese? I hated the way I felt, hated buying clothes and hated myself in general. So, somehow I am going to make peace with that fat woman and love her in spite of her fat.
Thank God for therapy LOL because it’s going to take a lot of work for that to occur.
I know that growing up, my dad constantly told me that I was ugly. And then as I gained weight (it started in like 7th grade), he started telling me I was fat, gross, etc. He badgered me about my weight throughout the rest of his life (he died in 1991). It was always a HOT topic for him. If a little girl (or boy) grows up hearing such negative crap about themselves and their body it’s bound to affect them.
Even though I’ve lost 95 pounds since WLS in June 2008, I still am not comfortable with thinking that I’m pretty. GOD, it’s hard to TYPE the word pretty in association with myself…..
I know he doesn’t mean it, but my dh feeds into this….as I have lost weight and have told him how much I’ve lost, one of his consistent comments is, “Yeah but you still have a lot more to lose.”
I have told him that comment hurts. That’s the difference between the man who raised me and the man I married: I can tell my spouse that his words hurt. And he does something my father NEVER did…he will apologize to me.
I think that even though my dad has been gone for a number of years, I can still hear his voice inside my head. Those old tapes still go around and around up there.
So that’s what I’ve been thinking about for the past few days….that’s where I am on this WLS journey. I welcome feedback. I will cross-post this to my group here on Livejournal. I’m positive to hear back from some friends who are on this journey with me.
Do you realize that June is almost gone? Where has this year gone?
Oh, well. They say that time goes by faster as you get older and I guess since I’m almost 48, that would include me LOL
I need to get to the pool tomorrow and join in on the water aerobics class they have. My family doc said it would be a good start for me.
It’s not 100 degrees outside today! First time in almost a week that it’s not hitting the 100 mark. My dh is outside mowing and ds is planted in front of the tv. I’ve got laundry in the washer and I need to toss it into the dryer soon before it wrinkles.
Dinner tonight will be pork chops in a honey mustard sauce. Should be good!
Wait, yeah, it’s Monday!
My dh is out of town. He left this morning for New Orleans. Not a long trip, however, he’ll be back tomorrow night late. He just had to go rub noses with the bank they’ll be working with for the next couple of years. Yeppers, it’s a BIG project he’ll be part of. Today was the BBQ and tomorrow is the 5-hour meeting. I think I’d have like the BBQ but not that meeting tomorrow. 5 hours? What in the world can a roomful of people talk about for 5 hours?!?
So me and Daniel hit the pool today. It was hot! I got into the water and cooled off a bit. Didn’t get all the way wet, which upset Daniel. He wants me to splash around with him but I just didn’t feel like getting soaked. Read a paperback while we were there, had a snow cone and then we came home to shower.
Went out for pizza. No, I don’t cook when hubby isn’t around. It’s hard to cook for two people. Easier to go to McDonald’s or Mazzio’s.
TOMORROW is a special day: My ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY for having gastric bypass surgery!
In 365 days, I’ve lost 95 pounds. ALL of my clothes are size SMALL, which I love! It’s so much FUN to shop now! Even my feet have shrunk…I used to wear 8 wide but those shoes slip off my feet now.
Tomorrow I’m having Daniel take some photos so that I can update my little website at Obesity Help. I put pictures up yesterday showing my year-long progress. WOW! I freak out when I see pics of what I looked like before surgery. Was that me?!? Jeepers, how could I live with myself like that for so long? I mean, I’ve always had a weight problem, but guess I was in denial that it was so bad…
Anyway, I’m excited about my Anniversary. Thank You, GOD and the staff at Missouri Bariatrics for giving me a new chance at a new life!
We’re back from church. They had BBQ and cole slaw and beans and bread. Oh, and dessert and lemonade (powdered stuff, not the real thing). I ate a cookie. Thankfully I didn’t DUMP because of the cookie.
My weight has stalled at 140. I know it’s because I haven’t been exercising. I go back to my gynecologist on Wednesday and I’ll have to ask him when I can return to the YMCA and go back to spinning. Oh and also I’m probably stuck because I’ve been nibbling on banana nut bread LOL
The other day I noticed that my four bananas were very ripe and so I boogied to Walmart and found some black walnuts and made a loaf of banana nut bread and it turned out wonderfully delicious. So I’ve been having it for breakfast and snack. Like I’m supposed to have snacks? NOT!
Anyway, I need to grab clothes out of the dryer and toss some jeans into the dryer but am feeling lazy, so maybe I’ll do it before I head upstairs.
Daniel is pouting today…he’s been GROUNDED since this morning and is not a happy camper. Yesterday I looked for him outside and couldn’t find him. He is allowed to ride his bike on our road but no further. Well, if he is on the corner of our road and the next, we are able to see him. But I couldn’t see him. And couldn’t find him for over 5 minutes. So naturally, I freaked. Called hubby (he was at work) and told him I was heading out to find the child, when lo and behold, the child appears at the end of the driveway. I yelled at him. Loudly. By the time he was in the house, we were both in tears. I told him that he was GROUNDED and I was so MAD at him for scaring me. He claims he was on the corner with a friend but I didn’t see him and both hubby and I KNOW that we should be able to SEE HIM from our driveway.
Sheesh. I was so scared that he was DEAD in a ditch and he was around the corner playing around with an older boy. I could have killed him myself.
Anyway after he showered, we hugged and he was pretty upset at having upset me. Then he was upset over being grounded.
Life is hard when you are 10!
Hmmmm, I wonder if I need a snack….banana nut bread is calling my name.
Today we went back to the thrift store downtown…found some jeans for Daniel, just $12 a pair plus a shirt for $5. Then found myself a BOB MACKIE 3-piece outfit from QVC, regular $50 and paid $12 for it! It’s so cute! It’s got a top with a huge sunflower on it, black capris and a white skirt with black sunflowers all over it. Gee, I love shopping!
I used to always love to shop but now that I’ve lost so much weight, it’s so much more fun, kwim?
Anyway, got my release in the mail today, so I can return to work on Thursday. It’s only half a day on Thursday, so I won’t have to work too hard. Then I have to work all day by myself on Friday, and then half a day on Saturday. My paycheck for July 1st is going to be pretty small…darn it!
We went to see “Jesus Christ Superstar” today and it was incredible. Wow. I’m so glad that we went! And while we were walking to the car, Ron announced, “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!” so that was my present. That plus dinner! Very nice surprise!
So I guess that on Thursday I shouldn’t expect anything? LOL
OH and the scale dropped today to 142! YAY!