Seasoned with Life

5 Minute Friday: BARE

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

GO:

Bare.

Makes me think of bare naked.  Yeah, naked, as in not wearing anything at all except what you were born with.

I used to be morbidly obese, and I think at my highest weight I was nearly 240 or 250.  I hated my body; wouldn’t look in the mirror while dressed and sure as heck wouldn’t look at myself bare nekkid.

In June 2008, I had gastric bypass surgery.  OVer the next few months the weight started falling off.  It wasn’t easy.  I cried a lot.  I couldn’t eat certain things.  I threw up a lot.  I got depressed.  But the weight started falling off.  I started exercising.  I started looking in the mirror.

My clothes started getting loose.  I remember working as a volunteer at the Community blood drive and someone stated that my clothes were getting loose and she asked me if I planned on getting new ones or was I too worried that I’d gain all my weight back.

I tell you, everyone in the room just looked at her.  I wanted to slug her.  She has not the slightest idea what it was like to weigh nearly 250 pounds, to have arthritis in your hips, to have your knees and feet hurt from dragging around so much weight, to go through a difficult surgery and recovery, to not know what was going to happen, to wonder if you were going to like yourself if and when all the un-necessary weight was gone.

I couldn’t even answer her.  All I did was glare at her.  And walk away.

Now I weigh 140 and wear small sized clothing.  I can look in the mirror, at my face and at my bare nekkid body.  I’ve gotten as low as 125 or 130 but keep bouncing around.  When I was 125, I was just amazed at the person I was staring at.  Who was that?  Who is this person?  I’m no longer embarrassed to run around bare in front of my husband; I used to be shy and ashamed of my body.  I’m happy in my bare skin now.  I know it’s not perfect but it’s perfectly ME and that’s good enough for me.

STOP.